This past summer we had gone on a road trip to BC. While there, I attempted to keep up with Five Minute Friday. One entry I had written in my journal. It was a couple of days after we arrived in BC. But, for some reason, it never seemed to make it here to my blog. So, here I write it now.
Yesterday I took Annalise to visit my mom's grave. I needed to go there; I thought it would be meaningful to Annalise to go as well. I needed to talk to Mom. Oh, how many days there are when I need to talk to her!
But I didn't. I didn't talk to her - she's not there. She's living in perfect freedom.
We brought her flowers - I think she would have liked them. And my big girl and I talked about her, about her faith, about where she is now. And I sang. I sang "her" Psalm - the one printed on her gravestone. From the Book of Praise (Canadian Reformed ... and an older version - the one I grew up with and still have mostly memorized):
Psalm 84:1, 4
O Lord of Host, O God of grace,
How lovely is Thy holy place,
How good and pleasant is They dwelling!
O how my soul longs earnestly,
Yea, faints thy holy courts to see
Mid festal throngs and music swelling.
My heart and flesh cry out to God;
To Him I spread my hands abroad.
From strength to strength God's people go,
And He to them His face will show
In Zion's courts, His holy dwelling.
O Lord, Thou God of hosts, give ear;
O Jacob's God, in mercy hear,
Thy steadfast promises fulfilling.
O God, our king and shield behold;
To him Thy power and love unfold.
And I remember how mom clung to His promises, held on for dear life, and saw them fulfilled - she is with Him now!! She is free! And I can hear her tell me to stop living in the past, to stop dwelling on what was, but to live in the present, for the future, trusting always in Him!
And on the drive "home" to Dad's, with that echoing in me, part of a Switchfoot song (Yesterdays) comes to mind:
"... A part of you in me is torn
And you're free
I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me ..."
Then this morning, I woke and checked my email and saw that the FMF word is "Free"!! Thank-you God!
Mom is living in perfect freedom and one day I will be too!
Praise God, in Him we are free!